Executive Presence Coaching: The Gap Between Competence & Visibility That's Holding You Back | Dancing Dragons
Executive Presence Coaching: The Gap Between Competence & Visibility That's Holding You Back
Understand what executive presence really means and how coaching helps high-performing leaders close the gap between their capabilities and how they are perceived.
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Executive Presence Coaching: The Gap Between Competence & Visibility That's Holding You Back
Your work is excellent. Your expertise is deep. Your contributions are valuable. Yet somehow, others with less capability advance faster, get the high-profile assignments, and capture attention you seem unable to attract.
The frustrating reality: competence isn't enough. The gap between what you can do and how you're perceived determines career trajectory as much as actual capability.
This gap has a name: executive presence. It's what makes some leaders command attention when they walk into a room while others—equally capable—fade into the background. And it's learnable.
What Executive Presence Actually Is
Executive presence is often described in vague terms—"gravitas," "charisma," "leadership aura." These descriptions aren't wrong, but they're not helpful. They make presence seem like an innate quality you either have or don't.
More useful is understanding executive presence as the combination of how you:
Show up physically. Posture, eye contact, physical stillness or movement, dress, and grooming—the non-verbal signals that communicate confidence and authority.
Communicate. Voice quality, word choice, message clarity, and communication style—how you speak and what you say.
Relate to others. Warmth, engagement, listening quality, and relationship presence—how you connect with people.
Handle pressure. Composure under stress, response to challenge, management of emotion—how you perform when stakes are high.
Project confidence. Internal confidence expressed externally—not arrogance, but authentic belief in your own capability and perspective.
Each of these dimensions can be assessed, understood, and developed. Executive presence isn't magic—it's a learnable set of behaviors and perceptions.
Why Executive Presence Matters
Advancement Decisions
When organizations make decisions about who to promote into senior roles, presence matters alongside competence. Decision-makers ask:
Can this person represent us in high-stakes situations?
Will they command respect in senior forums?
Do they look and sound like a senior leader?
Right or wrong, these questions influence who advances and who plateaus.
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Influence Effectiveness
Leaders with strong presence influence more effectively:
Their ideas are heard and considered
Their recommendations carry weight
Their participation in meetings shifts dynamics
Their presence in negotiations strengthens position
The same idea from someone with weak presence versus strong presence gets different reception.
Stakeholder Confidence
Boards, investors, customers, and partners evaluate leaders partly on presence:
Do they inspire confidence?
Do they seem like they're in command?
Would you trust them with important matters?
Presence either reinforces or undermines stakeholder confidence.
First Impressions
Presence disproportionately affects first impressions. In limited interactions—interviews, presentations, initial meetings—presence may be all people have to evaluate. Those first impressions persist and influence subsequent perception.
The Presence Gap: Why Capable People Get Overlooked
The Expertise Trap
Technical experts often developed careers through depth of knowledge rather than breadth of presence. Their expertise was recognized without needing presence. But as they advance, the ratio shifts—presence matters more and technical depth matters relatively less.
The skills that got you here won't get you there. And if you haven't developed presence, you'll hit ceilings you can't understand.
Cultural and Identity Factors
Presence norms are not neutral. They often reflect dominant culture expectations. This creates disadvantages for:
Women in male-dominated environments
People from cultures where modesty and deference are valued
People whose backgrounds didn't include presence modeling
Developing presence while remaining authentic to identity requires navigation these dimensions deliberately.
Feedback Gaps
Presence issues rarely generate direct feedback. People sense something is off but can't articulate it:
"He just doesn't seem ready for the executive level"
"Something about her doesn't inspire confidence"
"I can't put my finger on it, but he doesn't have it"
Without specific feedback, capable people can't understand or address their presence gaps.
Self-Perception Mismatch
How you experience yourself internally often differs from how you appear externally. You may feel confident internally while appearing nervous externally. You may intend warmth while projecting coldness.
This perception gap makes self-correction difficult—you can't see what others see.
Stillness: Leaders with presence are physically settled. Excessive movement—pacing, fidgeting, touching hair—broadcasts nervousness.
Eye contact: Appropriate eye contact conveys confidence and connection. Avoiding eye contact conveys discomfort or disengagement.
Physical space: How you occupy space matters. Do you expand to fill appropriate space or contract into minimal space?
Dress and grooming: Fair or not, appearance affects perception. The question isn't about fashion but about projecting intentionality and care.
Communication Presence
How you speak shapes how you're received:
Voice quality: Volume, pace, tone, and clarity all matter. Speaking too softly undermines authority. Speaking too fast suggests anxiety. Vocal variety maintains attention.
Message clarity: Can you articulate your point clearly? Rambling, hedging, and circuitous speech undermine presence.
Word choice: Tentative language ("I just think maybe we should consider...") versus definitive language ("I recommend we...") conveys different levels of confidence.
Silence comfort: Can you tolerate silence, or do you fill every gap? Comfort with silence projects confidence.
Listening quality: Do you listen fully, or do you interrupt and formulate responses while others speak?
Relational Presence
How you connect with others:
Warmth: Do people feel liked by you? Warmth comes through genuine interest, acknowledgment, and positive regard.
Engagement: Are you fully present in interactions? Distraction, device-checking, and partial attention undermine relational presence.
Acknowledgment: Do you make people feel heard and valued? Or do you dominate without recognizing others' contributions?
Authenticity: Do people sense the real you, or a performed version? Inauthenticity registers even when people can't articulate it.
Composure Under Pressure
How you handle stress:
Emotional regulation: Can you manage your emotional responses in high-stakes situations?
Response to challenge: Do you become defensive when challenged, or do you engage constructively?
Crisis behavior: Do you project calm when situations are difficult?
Recovery: When things go wrong, how quickly do you recover composure?
Confidence Projection
The internal-external alignment:
Self-assurance: Do you believe in your own capability and perspective? Authentic confidence starts inside.
Assertion: Can you assert your views, advocate for your ideas, and hold your ground when appropriate?
Humility balance: Presence isn't arrogance. The best presence combines confidence with appropriate humility.
How Coaching Develops Executive Presence
Assessment
Presence coaching begins with understanding current state:
360 feedback: Structured input from colleagues, superiors, and subordinates on how you're perceived.
Video review: Recording and reviewing actual presentations, meetings, or interactions to see yourself as others see you.
Coach observation: A trained observer providing specific feedback on presence dimensions.
Assessment tools: Instruments that measure specific aspects of presence.
This assessment surfaces the gap between self-perception and external perception.
Awareness Building
Many presence issues persist because leaders don't know they're doing them:
The habitual filler words ("um," "like," "you know")
The unconscious fidgeting
The voice patterns that undermine authority
The facial expressions that convey unintended messages
Coaching builds awareness of these patterns so they can be addressed.
Skill Development
With awareness established, specific skills can be developed:
Voice work: Breath control, pace variation, volume management, vocal power.
Communication skills: Message structure, concision, assertive language patterns.
Emotional regulation: Techniques for managing nervousness, tools for staying composed under pressure.
Practice and Feedback
Presence develops through practice with feedback:
Rehearsal: Practicing high-stakes communications with coach feedback.
Real-time coaching: Working with a coach before, during, and after actual high-stakes situations.
Iterative refinement: Continuous improvement based on ongoing feedback.
Authenticity Integration
Effective presence coaching doesn't create a performed persona—it helps leaders express their authentic best:
Finding your natural presence rather than copying someone else's
Expanding range while staying genuine
Building confidence that's real rather than performed
Expressing strengths rather than hiding weaknesses
Common Presence Challenges
Under-projection
Some leaders consistently under-project—they're more capable than they appear:
Speaking too softly or tentatively
Minimizing accomplishments
Deflecting credit
Physical shrinking or self-diminishing
Coaching helps these leaders expand into their appropriate space.
Over-projection
Others over-project—appearing arrogant, aggressive, or dominating:
Speaking too much, listening too little
Dismissing others' contributions
Physical domination of space
Inability to show vulnerability
Coaching helps these leaders calibrate to appropriate presence.
Inconsistency
Some leaders have presence in certain situations but not others:
Confident one-on-one but nervous in groups
Strong in technical discussions but weak in executive settings
Composed normally but rattled under pressure
Coaching helps extend presence to the situations where it's currently lacking.
Inauthenticity
Attempting presence that doesn't fit creates inauthenticity that undermines credibility:
Trying to be someone you're not
Performing rather than being
Presence that feels forced or artificial
Coaching helps find authentic presence rather than performed presence.
Presence Development Across Contexts
Presentations and Public Speaking
High-visibility moments where presence matters most:
Board presentations
All-hands meetings
Conference speaking
Media appearances
Coaching includes specific preparation and practice for these high-stakes formats.
Meetings and Group Dynamics
Daily interactions where presence accumulates over time:
Executive team meetings
Cross-functional collaborations
Client meetings
Negotiation sessions
Coaching addresses presence in these regular, ongoing contexts.
One-on-One Interactions
Individual conversations where relationship presence matters:
Skip-level conversations
Stakeholder relationships
Difficult conversations
Mentoring and coaching others
Coaching develops presence across the full range of interactions.
The Path Forward
Start with Diagnosis
Before trying to improve, understand:
What feedback have you received about your presence?
What opportunities seem to go to others with less capability?
What situations are hardest for you?
Seek Specific Feedback
Generic feedback doesn't help. Seek specifics:
"What exactly do I do that undermines my presence?"
"What specific changes would make the biggest difference?"
"How am I perceived compared to peers at the next level?"
Commit to Development
Presence development takes time and practice:
Expect months, not weeks
Practice deliberately, not just hope for improvement
Seek ongoing feedback on progress
Consider Coaching
Presence is difficult to develop alone:
You can't see yourself as others see you
Habits are hard to break without external input
Feedback from non-experts is often too vague to be useful
Professional coaching provides the expertise, objectivity, and accountability that accelerates presence development.
Conclusion
The gap between your capability and how you're perceived isn't fair, but it's real. Executive presence—how you show up, communicate, relate, and handle pressure—shapes perception and influences career trajectory.
The good news: presence is learnable. With assessment, awareness, skill development, and practice, capable leaders can develop the presence that matches their capability.
Don't let perception gaps hold back your career. Close the gap between what you can do and how you're seen.
Ready to develop executive presence that matches your capability? Book an Executive Presence Diagnostic where we'll identify your specific presence gaps and create an action plan with one specific change to start this week. Your competence deserves to be seen.
